wide awake dreaming

my co-worker, ex-military tells me if i work out too much and don't eat right the resultant discombobulation is similar to what i'm experiencing at work. i simply don't know what i'm doing lately and with all the changes and lockdown, i'm pretty useless. which is a good time.

so i muddled through another shift and this asian dude comes in as we're closing. stands at the counter and asks for something but i tell him we're closed.

he keeps standing there, for about three minutes and finally my co-worker talks to him. the guy says little of interest and when i turn around again (i was washing dishes at that point), he says,

beautiful girl. you're a really beautiful girl.

which i think is kind of strange, because i've got a baseball cap on, with all my hair oozing out the back in a rather sloppily constructed bun, i'm wearing that green apron and the rest of the getup. it's nothing fabulous, at all. i don't even have a scrap of makeup. i got out of the habit some time ago now.

so the guy watches me extract an overfull bag of trash from the can and offers to help, i said,

no thanks, i've got it

(like i'm really going to let some customer come behind the counter and help me, if i really needed help, i'd ask my co-worker who watched me do the same thing the previous night and wanted to help but i waved him off. i'm a strong woman.

which reminds me of a funny thing, i took that overfull bag of trash to the chute last night and it was very heavy. the chute bottom is about shoulder height for me. and so i open it, get the waft of rotten fruits and vegetable potpourri which comes with the grocery store garbage chute, then hold the bag out in front of me as i'm facing the chute and proceed to twirl with the bag in a 360 degree circle--kind of like a discus thrower--at which point the centrifugal forces begin to lift the bag and i whirl it into the chute to the amazement of the two big guys standing there watching me maneuver this load.

do you treat your man like that,

they said, laughing.

and i made muscles with my arms and walked away, enough said.

but i was grinning from ear to ear).

so the asian guy wanders away and i make a break for it into the back room. repeat yesterday's launching of the garbage, and figure out how to operate the box crusher, then leave the backroom.

the asian guy is standing right by the door when i walk out, he's looking at some product and says,

heeeeey!

i smile and walk by as fast as i can.

my co-worker says when i return,

be sure that guy isn't following you when you leave.

(which i'm grateful he said, because i don't think that way, i expect the best of people--who generally rise to the occasion).

so the asian guy is posted by the punch out clock talking to two of my co-workers at the grocery store. and i took the opportunity to ring up the things my peeps at home needed, and get out of there quick. he was embroiled in a very animated story which involved some pantomime and one does not get out of those conversations quickly.

so i walked pretty fast out of the store and hopped on my pony, and got away.

i don't work today and have been wondering what i'm going to do. i need to read. to do some schoolwork, but i also have to go to the farm and take care of the horses.

i love the drive, love the work, love the horses.

and trust that is enough for now.