Wednesday, March 01, 2006

nether regions

sometimes when i say things, i don't realize what i am saying. this is probably true about 30% of the time. then, when i see what i've said, i think.
huh, why did i say that? is it true?


and typically, i come to find out, yes it was true. i just didn't know it.

i mentioned to a friend that my husband calls me back from the nether regions where i dwell.

this statement struck me as odd. i can't imagine how it comes across. probably very odd. i have thought about this statement ever since i wrote it. i've contemplated it.
what does it mean? why did i say that?


the book i've been alluding to, but not named, is women who run with wolves. a powerful book about the wild woman myth and archetype. this five hundred page behemoth has consumed seven days of my life, as i devour it. it is such a powerful book, (with some garbage in it), but largely, a powerful book from which i can hardly get a page and have to write yes! in the margin. underlining. dialoguing with the author as we go.

i'm nearing the end (p. 495), and i've just passed a section on under world. pertaining to the subconscious. i dig the subconscious. i use it for my main writing tool.

but the nether regions, were the words i had used. land of the dead.

the book talks about the dead being abandoned or aborted artistic children. yes. those creative endeavors we did not complete. those spectres of creativity who are rattling their chains in our subconscious.

the author says we need to mourn these dead, and bury them. effectively pinning them to the ground so they don't follow us around anymore.

sounds like wisdom to me. i've said all along, i want my next creative child to live. i want my next soul movement to thrive. i must mourn the dead and move forward.

i look forward to my next creative endeavor. though now it seems the future is as grim as the past as far as publication goes (of my poetry, that is). i won't despair. knowing, trusting, God's plan.

i have to remember simeon. if an infant Jesus is all i ever get to see, i pray He will be sufficient. that i will step out in faith and trust an infant Messiah.

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