Tuesday, January 08, 2013

the flow

i know there are a lot of ways to feel it, to be with it. i experience it differently depending on the day, the hour, the week. something about my movement through life, i am finding it is not linear, absolutely not linear.
i do not know if time travel is possible, but i have spent so much time in my memories, my dreams, my present, that i often lean more toward yes, it is possible, than no.
what is time anyway.
i don't mean clock time. i'm not necessarily talking about the movement of the sun, the ticking off of days according to some calendar. think about it for a moment. the now. it is expansive and retractive, depending on the moment itself.
remember that song, the one playing the first time you kissed her, or the band that you went to see on your first date. how is it, that when you hear or encounter those things, a wash of memory, of emotion, of something akin to time comes into the now. into the present moment.
what is that, exactly.
remember how her hair stuck straight up when she woke up that first morning you slept together. how she looked when you were curled up beside her watching her sleep. the line of her eyes intersecting the pillow, the way it smooshed her face up and she was so relaxed, at peace. and you tiptoed away to start the coffee and fry some potatoes. when you lay that extra blanket over her, she nuzzled into it, as you returned to your preparations for morning. now, when you reach for that pan, slice up those potatoes, set the coffee to brew, it all comes back in a flash, an instant so brief, yet so ripe with memory it feels timeless, that the flash of it, like lightning, is all you need to remind you.
i have these moments when it is all so then, yet entirely now. these are the moments that convince me of the fluidity of time. we cannot travel down a road and not be changed. we cannot step into the same river twice, yet we are forever stepping into that river for the first time.
does this make sense. are you following.
i have always had these glimpses of tomorrow. flashes of the future, and when some come to pass, i have understood it to be
though i have heard prophetic types describe that instance as
a certainty that you are on track. where you should be. mind you, the flashes are ever in flux, times and people, decisions change. there is no set path. there is always freedom to change direction, and for that i am grateful. for we cannot know, we can never know what the moment will bring. we can only trust that all that needs to happen does. the moment is complete in and of itself. there is nothing to add to it, and nothing to take away.
do you look through the same eyes in every situation then.
true, you are still the same person, the same spirit, the same being. but are you truly the same, unaltered person each moment of your life. i do not think so. some would call it decay, that the body is degenerating.
but i like to think of it as a ripening process. we are blossoming. we are finding ourselves. we are becoming who we are more with each moment, each acceptance, each lesson learned. the actual physical body, or the eyes, may indeed be the same in the technical sense, i am not looking out of your eye sockets. but the eyes themselves, not the function of them, but the essence of them, the spirit, that is, is evolving. that's a loaded word. that is why i like the concept of blossoming.
perhaps it is possible to be in perpetual bloom. i would like to think it is. and every morning, the flower opens her petals again. so, with those fresh eyes, those freshly peeled eyes, you get a chance to glimpse your day. your moment, anew.
that, to me, coupled with the intersection of memory and foresight, is what comprises what i will call time travel. we are fluid. we are being. we are energy.
static is the exception, not the rule.