sleep baby, sleep.

i'm not sure what to say. why i haven't written. not like it matters, this. but yet it does. i've been more busy than ever before and i'm just tired. as i sat weeping at my friend's house wondering if i could do it all, she said,

you are doing it all.

which was scant comfort.

i have fewer hours next week, which is good.

a paper due monday, which is why i'm here. this is my process. come, purge. write.

i have had serious doubts about the things i'm writing, largely because they are so close to the bone. everything is so honest. even more than before. now, it feels vulnerable. that's the difference, i think, my mind knows it is, everything feels it is, and well, i'm just too tired.

so i'm encouraged to go for it. to spare no detail. to write whatever i want. and blow my prof away. which i will attempt to do. which i will do, muse willing. (i like that phrase, i just stumbled upon it)

but i'm tired now. and need to pursue my writing another way, the indirect way.

everything else for my packet is done, just this six page critical paper. that is always the way it is with me.

now to bed.