Thursday, March 01, 2012


today is the first of my grams' three proclaimed birthdays. my daughter's falls between the days, on her one unclaimed birth day. then next week, mine and my sister's back to back. my girl will be fifteen, and i almost three times that. i love my age. i am enjoying my life every day.

the critique group loved what i did with my manuscript. it's curious to see the change, but it translated well, my hard work paid off, and for that i am grateful. i didn't give up, in fact i made the manuscript more my own than it was before. cleaning up bits of clutter. it was not that hard once i decided what to do, in fact, i enjoyed it. i just didn't know if they would get it, but they did.

are we the source of our reality. is what comes to us something we determine. are we creators or just stumbling along blindly on the path set before us. what part does fate and mercy play.

some manner of all these questions has been swirling around in my noodle for some time now. i cannot reconcile them, i just try to believe. that goodness prevails, that heartbreak doesn't last forever, that ultimately love triumphs. these are what have kept me going. there is joy to be had and i will have it.

last night i sat with a couple ladies and told them about my koala theory. they laughed. recap:
sometimes i get to wondering if i'm delusional. if relationships can actually be good. and yes, i believe they can. i still believe they can. i have never seen a functional relationship up close, but that doesn't mean i don't believe they exist. i've never seen a koala up close, but i believe they exist. this is no different.

i told them,
i will experience one, or both, before i die!
and they laughed.

it's good to laugh. to learn. to grow.

good things are coming my way, i can feel it. and i welcome them.


Rakeem said...

Lol after you said noodle i starting laughing throughout the rest, and you're probably the first person i've met who loves their age, that's awesome, everyone should love their age, or come to love it no matter how old, and yes, you And i will see a functional relationship before we die.

siouxsiepoet said...

i'm glad that made you laugh, i don't always know if my humor translates. :)