Friday, January 07, 2005

i was wrong

i always hope to be someone who can admit when they are wrong. many foibles have taught me the lesson of quick repentence. but i fall again, and on and on it will go until i fall no more forever.

the mediocrity book, while i said it could be cut down by 100 pages, is well worth the 233 pages the author used. i enjoyed it immensely, and i was surprized. i thought it was just going to be another pastor taking used illustrations from the big book of illustrations, but i was wrong.

the pastor who wrote the book about mediocrity was listening to the Lord. how can i presume to know this, the same as you, i know the Shepherd's voice.

i wrote a joyous recommendation for which i am glad.

i do not take pleasure in writing a bad review, i take pleasure in a job well done. my job, it seems, is to critique books. so, my job then, is to offer an opinion of the merits and deficiencies of the books i review. this is never easy for me.

i have been contemplating the idea of unnecessary honesty. is there such a thing? can there be such a thing? i don't know. perhaps. it seems a contradiction.

i also slighted a dear friend and wish i hadn't. breached a trust. i feel my heart tender and an open window for God to teach me about betrayal and trust. so i am praying through all my wish i handn't's and whatnots. but i can't change the past.

i realize again, how delicate friendship is. especially new friendship. i do not expect to be forgiven. nor do i expect trust again. i hope to be forgiven and hope my size 9s didn't cost me a friend. but i will not know until i know.

once in college i wrote an article for our very lame paper about the way things are handled on campus, it was called on behalf of the topless. i had a jeep, incase you are wondering and it had to do with the parking situation on campus. the administration had gone from stickers for parking to the plastic sticky on the window without residue. anyway, my pass got stolen and i was pissed.

i was offered a position as the student liaison for parking situations. of course this was not the official name, but it suffices for now. you gather that i am not about the inane details.

i realized after serving that i was wrong.

i wrote another article saying that. recanting my frustrations. i was approached by a student (michael mooreish, if you get my drift) who said, never apologize. and waving the paper, never apologize in print.

yeah, whatever. that is a rule to live by.

my rule is, apologize often and quickly. keep short accounts. no amount of saving face is worth not apologizing when one has sinned against another.

i wish it weren't so, and it is very hard to apologize sometimes, but always apologize, especially in print.

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