tonight helen and i hosted our inter parish council meeting. aside from our talking, my rocking chairs to put my feet up (i love to have my feet up), and our general noisemaking, it went well.
we can't help it, apparently, that we are noisy. we just are. she's much like a sister to me. the kind that knows me and is unafraid to reach out her hand and touch me. for that i'm grateful. we've become friends. and i will miss her.
that's the thing about moving, leaving those i've come to love. leaving those i've come to find comfort in. setting out fresh, even in old familiar haunts, it is some time before a routine is re-established. and things are never the same.
going back is not something i've wanted to do. it seems, backward movement, to be contrary to my purpose at this point in life, but i will do what i can to serve my family in whatever small way i can. that means moving. whenever it happens.
keeping myself disengaged from the emotions of a potential move is perhaps the hardest part. i'm inclined to grieve. something in me understands this mode of emoting and i take to it easily. but let me rather enjoy those friends i have come to know and love. the denomination which has made a place for me. the parishoners who have lent me their understanding and made me feel not so alone in this world.
i'm ready for whatever comes. i would rather i get some of the things i hope for, but even if i do not, i will move forward and live. there is much to do. it has only just begun. and i'm getting published again in a secular journal called LIPS.
helen would giggle with me about this like a sister and some matronly soul would remind us to be quiet and listen. as is the right thing to do.
but i so enjoy giggling. helen brings it out in me.
and it has been a while since i laughed.
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