my day off

it will be nice when my days off don't involve work. but that is not the case yet. i made it clear to the kids that i'm exhausted and anyone who can pitch in, needs to. some did, that pleases me because it meant that i got a nap and was able to do some work while i was there instead of just leaning up against a counter and trying to stay upright.

it's bitterly cold tonight. gonna snow cold. which i don't mind so much, i just want traveling weather on jan 10, that's when i get my girl from newark (but i'll be driving down from boston).

my deadline looms, and at least i've another window of time after tomorrow, if push comes to shove. but i never force myself to write. i write what i can, when i can. poetry is not made on demand. at least, mine is not.

though it is nice when a friend commissions a piece, as my best friend did before her belly dance troupe danced at samhain. that piece came out okay, i knew it would go over well outloud. and it did. my prof banged it out on her desk and mentioned a ghost meter, iambic tetrameter, and so she wanted it revised.

i banged it out today, literally, in iambic tetrameter. if it will hold up, i do not know. my best friend loves it more now, it doesn't have the weak spots, and it might actually be better. who knows.

poetry is utterly subjective, as i've always said.

so i wait for her to come online and hold me with words. this is how people tend to me, and i'm grateful. so tired, my parts are all over the place. i'm doing more now than ever, but it's all forward movement. these means produce desired ends. and that pleases me.

so lean i will, and am grateful for those who lean into me. though i have little to offer. only time for one friend. and my girl. beside that no one exists to me. (well, there is one school friend) but beyond that, no one.

perhaps tonight i will write the ends of the stories that need to be set to rest. anchored to today, so they will not haunt me tomorrow.

i'm ready for the good. it is coming, i can feel it in my bones.