threadbare

i'm not sure if it's the amount of madness at my work, the general discontent and ease of contagion, or if it is my exhaustion that made today one of the toughest of late. like i'm trying to hold two boats together that are pulling apart in opposite directions and the current isn't helping. there just isn't much i can do.

maybe swim. hadn't thought of that.

used to be a slow day at my work was huge. now the slow days have picked up and we're doing more business with the same number of people (hear, two). it's tough. but it's good. i'd rather be busy than standing around. time flies when you're just trying to keep your head above water.

something wet going on here. hmm.

today, i knew the order would be there when i arrived, but one case in particular was crushed, this case housed the caramel sauce and it was pouring out of the box and pooling on the floor. all i managed to do today with the order was caramel control. the rest of it is sitting there for me to get to tomorrow.

i left and the girl closing tonight just smiled. i told her,

i'm opening, don't worry about it. i don't care.

that's my new phrase, i don't care.

we can't work together without compassion. i understand she is saddled with the new guy, and is essentially tied to the bar. and that if i couldn't get the order put away, i who can get an order put away before 7:30am. if i can't do it, she shouldn't have to worry about it.

if she feels ambitious she can, but we're so busy, there is no way it can get done on most any day it seems.

and i'm just being realistic. trying to work less, because i'm tired. exhausted actually, and i still work twice as hard as everyone else, even when i'm slowing myself down.

just wish the customers would give me a break. that would be nice.

some of them do.

and sometimes, it all works out.

i'm just tired is all.

like a bit of butter scraped across too much bread.