one more to go

so, the last thing left on my rather sizeable plate is a critical paper. i started it. strange how i write, i just pour it out. like a glass of water. rarely do i go back and change anything. very rarely, i think that's what freaks people out most about my process. so i partially fill this glass, then walk away. when i return, i will pour some more, then more, then the glass will be full and off my plate. but i need an infusion of beauty now.

i just wrote five poems, and while i can't say if they will live or die (that has never been my decision to make) i can only wait and see. which while garner respect, which will command the breath of life, which will live and be strong enough to take to a reading.

maybe what i just wrote is strong. i never know. before the last student reading i still wasn't certain they were strong poems that i was going to read. that is, until i read them and the place went mad. this is my experience at readings. the place responds to my work. i don't know that i have anything of that ilk, but i will try to bring something this semester, most likely in a different vein, because i don't write only smutty poetry, some of it is actually decent.

once i punt this paper off my plate, i need to get a manuscript together for our three hour a day poetry workshops. where we critique each other's work and explore the subtleties of misinterpretation and inane suggestion. where i grow disagreeable and facetious. that is my hydean aspect. i guess. though, maybe i am always disagreeable and facetious. who knows.

one more end to write, that epic tale i have yet to conclude.

but i'm growing tired of the unrequited. and won't carry the burden, yes, that is what it has become to me, much longer. i will leave it off for the good that is coming my way.

i'm tired now. only enough strength to carry the viable. the rest will have to make its own way. or languish on the roadside.

these are my crossroads. this is my course. i will finish this paper and pass this semester. and try, with all my might, to rest while my girl is away.

but mostly, i just want to play.

teehheeeheee.