sometimes the lows must, wait, always the lows must be endured like turbulence in a plane. there is no option to get out of turbulence, you must ride it out.
and so i did.
today, i sat in the garden with my sister and she read to me. a hawk landed on the wire and the chickens and ducks, scrambled behind us for safety. we watched the hawk circle and scare up a few crows.
after turning and watering the compost, i did the dishes, made breakfast and now i'm ready to go to the beach. to be delivered to the shores of the pacific where i will wander lonely as a cloud. it will settle me. i can talk with my grams there.
and when the tide recedes, i get a glimpse of her, of something familiar. the scampering sandpipers, the crying gulls. the glint of the sun on the ocean.
when the waters lick the shore, i play at their edge, am reminded of so many things that come and go. reminded how to let go. to be still in a moment while everything shifts around.
i find myself amidst wildly shifting sands, more along the lines of a sandstorm in the sahara, but maybe that's just my perception. i am trying to remember to ground, to still, to center myself.
but today, i could use a hand from nature. cleo bunny has been incredible therapy for me. she licks me when i hold her. the chickens lay down on their bellies around my feet as i sat with them yesterday. it made me smile, that even though i feel my energy is erratic at the moment, that these peaceful creatures could come stave off some of my errant energy.
seeing my mom tomorrow. i hope i can keep from telling her my girl is coming. i want it to be a surprise. but i also want to share that joy with her, that my girl is coming to california.
yesterday was a big day for me, in that i made a lot of personal decisions that i hope will manifest goodness. i had this free falling feeling after the choices were made, but there is no turning back, no stopping the descent when one begins the journey down to the underworld.
the fall has stopped, but the terrain has changed, and i seek to navigate by my own compass.
om mani padme hum
sounds in the inner chambers of my heart at the moment.
it will be well. it will all be well.
i trust this.
1 comment:
If i were better at drawing in my comic strips , you would have to be a character and narrator of many parts , i would see to it.
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