yes!

the effort to believe continues to take all my energy and focus. sometimes i grow weary watching the horizon as i do, but i believe in truth, love, and joy. that all beings may find enlightenment. that i, someday, may realize how blessed i am and live each moment with that as my only thought. as i do not do it now, so i try to look around and appreciate. appreciate all that is. even the trials. the ache in my left ankle. the piping hot bath with oils and salts, the burning candle and jasmine incense. it is all so very good.

i got two summer classes, a boon, a blessing. i will teach my first integrated set and i'm so grateful. i will earn in one six week semester what i thought would take twelve weeks, and to celebrate my loves and i will enjoy a cruise. a real vacation. i haven't had a lay by the pool for a week vacation in ages. years and years. and i'm so thrilled. i've wanted to go on a cruise for as long as i can remember but when i asked my ex, he said

no.

it is the time of my life when i am saying

YES!

an unequivocal unqualified

YES!

to whatever i desire.

this can be dangerous territory, i know. but it's been fun, and promises to be fun. some of what i most enjoyed from last year, the trips to the beach, the outings, i have found new companions to enjoy those journeys with. i will spend much time tubing down the delaware very soon, this delights me.

i'm grateful. for every moment, even the lonely, heartbreaking ones. for they have led me to today. to this blessed moment. and i am grateful for it all.