milkweed

on the walk to the library my daughter spots a monarch caterpillar. how she saw it, i don't know, it was tucked under leaves of a plant by the road. i stopped and said,

oh, how sweet.

for you see, i'd always wanted to do a monarch butterfly life cycle, but never got the chance.

on we went, and i assumed my position in the corner chair.

not moments after i began reading, she appeared with a pile of books.

let's go mom.

go, we did. he was not on the plant anymore, so we stood there and searched.

there he is!

my dauther exclaimed.

we got him and the plant he had been on when first we saw him.

we brought him directly home and started to think about how much this guy would eat over the next few days and weeks. depending on where in his life cycle we found him.

he's rather large, at least an inch and a half. his little antennae blowing in the breeze as we brought him home on a stick. he clung to it and rode along without complaining once.

we set him up and began our search in earnest of what we needed to feed this guy.

as you likely know, monarch caterpillars eat ONLY milkweed.

i searched the internet and found the plant we had, until i saw a picture of dogbane, which is commonly mistaken for the plant we need.

and i remembered a dream i had back in college.
an apache family had adopted me, i think they were trying to manipulate my brain. and one night i dreamt of my dear friend's brother. i told him and his sister of the dream, their brother looked at me and said,

you're milkweed, i can tell just by looking at you.

i never understood this dream, but the brother in my dream was the herbalist of the family so it was curious he was the one to say it.

we parted ways many years ago, and i've not thought of them for a great while.

now, in need of milkweed, the dream comes to me.

i could identify milkweed in texas. but here, i just wasn't sure and the little striped sock of a guy wasn't eating. he was just still. as if he were ready to cocoon.

i debated all day about whether to set him loose or wait it out to see if what i've got is actually milkweed. but he wouldn't eat and i feared the worst.

turn him loose,

i was told, by dear friends.

i didn't want to kill him, but my friends telling me this little life was now my charge ramped up the anxiety for me to astounding levels.

i didn't know what to do, so i, after much confusion and anxiety waited. it couldn't be long until the little guy told me if i had milkweed or not.

he started eating some time around four. devoured an entire large leaf by six. he's not in a hurry by any means. but at least i know i've got food for him for the next few days.

i woke up this morning and he was still eating. pooping. doing what nature mandates.

and i wrote a great many angst laden poems.

the milkweed situation is kind of like my life. the problems are obvious to everyone but me. everyone seems to be able to identify the milkweed of my life, but i have no clue what it looks like.

so this adventure will cause me to learn to identify some of the milkweed, and hopefully watch another life come into being, a transformation. but winter is coming soon, the chill has begun. the migration soon upon us. he needs to change soon, or overwinter encased in silence.

this little life now my charge. what lesson does he have to teach me?