peeled grapes

went to a poetry reading for the matriarch yesterday. she read for about an hour. it was great. i'd not heard her for such a concentrated length of time and i see why she is so well received. one of the things she said was,

i tell my students if they are going to write, to be like peeled grapes.

i've never been too far from that ideal, so i am encouraged.

when i walked into the venue, i didn't say hello. i just took a seat. got out my map to chart my way home, it was in south brunswick, an hour and a half drive down. then, parked myself in a chair and awaited her arrival.

hey, suz!

she said, with a big smile when she entered the room.

i can't tell you how comforting that is to hear. someone entered during the reading and sat behind me, leaning close and whispered something in my ear. i told her to come and sit beside me.

my husband has this habit of standing behind me and talking. he did it when we met, he still does it today. it kind of vexes me, because i can't see whom i'm talking to.

so this sweet girl sat beside me and suddenly i have absolutely nothing to say. silence takes over.

they opened the mic after the matriarch, but nobody wants to read after the matriarch, so i did. i had a poem i wanted her to hear. i said,

[the matriarch] told me to stop hiding behind metaphor,

so i wanted her to hear this.

and when i was done, she hugged me and said,

you did it honey.

i was thrilled. and the sweet girl beside me took the mic and performed a lovely spoken word piece.

i introduced myself to the organizer after and said,

poet introductions before you hear the work, don't mean much.

and the talk turned to dodge. the sweet girl returned and we hit it off, planning to hook up at dodge and get to know each other.

suddenly, i'm not feeling so lost. seeing the matriarch reminds me of everything i want to be. she is an academic, but doesn't agree with the intellectual disjointed incoherent poetry they made fashionable.

i told her, it is so nice to hear someone accomplished not telling young poets, be like me. be like me. she says constantly,

root your work to actual things. write of your experience.

i spent more time laughing yesterday than i had in a great while. see, i can be ungrim. i just have to be around the right crowd. this is my crowd.

the organizer of the event asked if i am published, and i said,

i don't.

he said,

you should.

and we talked about it a bit.

who knows what God will do kids. who knows.