hold it!

when i started working out, i was going from doing nothing active to a huge change. then my other classes started about six weeks later.

at first, the workout was tough. about a month and a half ago, it started to not phase me. i could whiz through it no sweat (literally), it occurred after i asked the trainer who has known my digits since the first day, if there was something i could do for my abdomen. i have a weak core shall we say.

she got on the floor and started doing all kinds of things. with a giant exercise ball and sit ups, plunges using only the upper arms.

i added twenty five of these situps to my routine, in four combinations, so about a hundred situps total. the plunges are still tough for me. wobbly armed as i am.

there is this abdominal hold she pushes, you get on your forearms and hold the pushup position. the first time i tried it, i weebled and wobbled all over the place. but managed to hold it to twenty five.

i was proud to do that. it was doing these additional exercises after the circuit that i would sweat, no longer during the circuit (these are all in addition to the 25 minute circuit).

so i'm there about a month after she showed me these wonders, so impressed with myself, i get in the abdominal hang position and am nearing twenty five when she starts yelling (loud enough so i can hear her over my music),

hold it, suzanne. think happy thoughts. go to a happy place. don't give in.

so i hold it. to fifty.

i added on some more situps that day, to about thirty i think.

the next time i saw her, she did the same thing (this was just last night).

hold it suzanne. don't give in.

i held it to seventy five. (not without some effort)

the plunge thing is still immensely difficult and my form sucks, so i have not advanced in that arena comparably. but the situps are a no brainer and i'm now at forty each variation, totalling 160 situps.

i've been very tired lately, and i just now made the connection that it could be the revved up workouts. and here i just thought i was going through a bout of laziness or depression. but i haven't felt depressed, just tired.

must be that.

i think that the point of a good trainer is to take you to that next level. i wouldn't be at 75 seconds, if it weren't for debbie (who i think is trying to kill me).

but she is really just trying to help me accomplish my goals. that is what a good trainer does.

i like to think i help the poets in my life this way, by challenging them. though sometimes, i push too hard. ask too much. i am not sure i can even do some of the things i ask them to do. but i do try. i do not ask from a poetically stagnant position. which is the point, i guess.

if my trainer was a couch potato, i would not listen.

if i were a one poem a year poet, no one should listen to me when i ask for anything. but i fancy myself one who knows the rigors of poetry and can push others to reach their goals, even when it feels or looks like i'm only just pushing just to push.

poetry intensive at the end of the month. three days of banging out poetry with local poets and the matriarch. it doesn't get much better than that. i hope to be well rested and ready for the poetic feats of strength that will be required of me. that is an entirely other level of training.