poetry incarnate

so i've been called a few doozies in my day, but this one took the cake. had me floating through my lifesucking job tonight. it's better, i think, than publishing. or being published, to have the respect of your peers. (i still feel weird calling them that, because they seem aeons beyond me).

peers? is that what we are?

so many times i've asked that question.

how anyone would want to admit they know me, let alone consider themself my peer is beyond me. but i'm keen on flaunting my flaws. painfully aware of my own shortcomings. myriad they are. pick one, any one, i've probably got it.

but to be called this, from an avid reader of my work, inspirer of my work, participant in my work, this is what it's all about kids.

i don't know that i'll ever find any measure of success as a poet. but today it felt like i did.

one soul has always been enough.

one voice in the chorus crying out, has been ever my greatest hope.

do i want to stop with one voice? can i convince the others and make them sing?

i don't know. i really don't.

sometimes i think i want it, to be a major poet.

sometimes, i think i have it.

sometimes, when i read before a room full of heavies, and i add to the billing rather than detract, i think, yes, i'm close.

but who really knows? who ever really knows.

i can't live my life wanting fame. i don't. i'm quite pleased with anonymity. but i also don't want to bury the talent i've been given. to shun the voice i hear so clearly.

i want to let it be heard.

tonight i want to stand on top of the mountain and proclaim,

i am poetry incarnate.

to the chorus of squirrels and chipmunks, the assorted birds and bees.

some times, i think, i have the capacity for joy, for happiness. i have the capacity for greatness. if i just trust, it will come to me. i believe this.

so i keep walking the path stretched out before me (perfectly? by no means). but each day, one step, one wobbly bobbly, sometimes in the wrong direction, always off the beaten path step, and sometimes, a friend dubs me something i must receive.

today was one of those days.

thank you my dear friend. for believing in me and my work.
and not being afraid.

peace.