Saturday, June 12, 2004

confessions of a first-drafter

in college, i tutored writing, psychology, and philosophy (i wasn't very good in that subject). when i do something, i read everything i can get my hands on. there were various handouts on learning styles and techniques, test taking tips, etc., which i accumulated and read. one of the handouts was about mnemonics, using letters to form a word or sentence to remind you of a series of things. another was about the subconscious and the studies by a certain doctor who detailed how the brain works in test taking. essentially, he said, trust yourself. if you have attended to your studies, then trust yourself for the answer.

i tend to over think tests. when i was taking astronomy, i got to the "helio-centric" definition question. i immediately picked, "sun-centered." but then THOUGHT, that was too easy, it must be wrong. well, as you know, it was right. my brain and instinct had picked the right answer, but my doubts about myself and abilities caused me to dawdle over the question i had instinctively answered right and (since i hadn't read the good doctors notes) i got the question wrong as i picked a more "difficult" thus correct answer. wrong! way wrong.

once i had the "trust thyself" notion down, i took a mythology class. we viewed joseph campbell's, the power of myth series with bill moyer on pbs. it was powerful to me. it quickened my mind, and intrigued me because he was comparing all the myths of all different people groups and coupled them with imagery, music, and very interesting dialog.

some fear campbell, he is not christian, therefore he is not good. i don't think that way. i think, anything that is truth is from God. whether a donkey speaks it (why are you hitting me?), or a man who happens to be unchristian.

campbell said, "the most creative state is your alpha state. those moments just before falling asleep and those moments just before waking up. pose a question to your mind before you drift off to sleep and you will wake up with the answer. your mind will figure it out for you." i scribbled it down in my notebook.

it was an intriguing thought. i began to play with creativity and the alpha state. i began to attend to my alpha state moments. i began to write papers only when i "heard" a line from them. this coupled my knowledge of the good doctor's theory with joseph campbell's statement. here is what i began doing:

when i had a paper to write, i would do my research, attend to all the details well before the paper was due, then pose the question to my mind (what am i going to say about native american mythology?). then push the topic from my conscious thought and literally forget about it. the first time i did this, it was quite unnerving. i was experimentally risking a grade on a paper, on some words and ideas from two strangers. what the heck, i'm a risk taker. so i went for it.

one morning as i was waking up, i heard, "the yellow corn maidens." i knew i had it. that was a line from my upcoming paper, i knew it was, because i typically don't think of the yellow corn maidens. and my research had included pueblo myths and legends of the yellow corn maidens.

i sat down to write. while i don't remember that first paper, i can tell you i wrote my college papers in ten to fifteen minutes each, first drafts. i don't do second drafts. i edit a bit, for example on this piece, i would read back through and find the good doctor's actual name (opted not to, i'll do it later) and plug it in, check the spelling of mnemonics. but i would not revise my work. i would hand it in.

as far as tests go. i ATTEND to my reading assignments, this is essential. if you don't attend, if your mind is wandering and you are tired, stop reading, stop studying, stop doing research. this is the most important thing you can do. because the whole theory i developed says, put everything into your brain (like loading a crock pot, if you forget the meat, your stew will be a vegetable soup). once you've read everything, pose a question to your mind (or you can pose the question along the way, what am i going to write about, what is my thesis going to be?) and your brain will figure it out.

back to tests, i had friends in college who would tell each other, she tests fast, don't let it unnerve you. after the astronomy shenanigan, i learned to trust my studying. i took all tests in college from that point on in 10-45 minutes. even the hard ones. i went through on a first past, bang, bang, bang, if a question couldn't be answered in a moment, i skipped it and went on. then i returned to the beginning of the test focusing on the skipped ones, and spent a minute or two on those. done.

i graduated summa cum laude in english literature, i have never gotten a C in college. i am still working toward my elusive bachelor's, but will continue to use my theory and get As and Bs.

i have more to say about this topic, but i'll leave you wondering how it applies to my writing now. think about what i've written, try it out. more later.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Interesting post, Suz. There's an Anglican priest/journalist named Tom Harpur who has written a book now on the bestseller lists up here in Canada called "The Pagan Christ" where he asserts that perhaps Jesus never even existed as a real human being, but instead is a compilation of myths from surrounding cultures. He apparently came up with some Egyptian myth about a god who was crucified and resurrected and thus uses this myth as ammunition to try to destroy orthodox Christian belief. Yes, the Anglican Church of Canada is in deep, deep trouble and I'm thankful that my branch of Anglicanism, Traditional Anglicanism, "came out of her" 25 years ago.

C.S. Lewis on the other hand argued that pagan religions had types and shadows of God's truth in them. That's why there are patterns universal across all religions, themes in myths that repeat themselves. Instead of using the fact that these myths seem to show that there's nothing exclusive about Christ, Lewis argues that they in fact foreshadow His coming, because God created us to believe in Jesus.

I believe that first and foremost our allegiance must be to the one true God, who, in Jesus Christ, became incarnate. Our wills must be bound to the will of God. Our obedience must be to holy scripture. I believe we must be careful when we dip into other religions and mythologies and when we plumb our subconscious depths. We must test the spirits. And only when our will is broken and surrendered can we really have the ability to discern the differences and what is from God and what isn't.

But I say we must be *careful* not *fearful* and that's the balance I think you strike, Suz.

The other thing is that people get enamored of certain words to describe something. If you do not use the exact words then you cannot be possibly talking about truth. Yet we all have encountered Christians who have all the theology and Scripture on their tongues, but there is something off about them. The faith is in a bunch of cold, intellectual words, and there's no connection to the meaning of those words.

The way is narrow. Fraught with danger. Snares and lies and lures on lurk on every side. There is only one focus of our affections, one goal, one destination, One Person who can rescue us and reveal to us the truth. Without Him, our religion is dead, no matter how good the words.

siouxsiepoet said...

something i just wrote on this topic:

while i do not embrace new age philosophy, i think, as with all life in general, we must prayerfully test the spirits. christians are so afraid of so many words and theories, they can't even listen to or read a book that uses any of them. we miss a great deal by being so timid. as if our fragile minds can't handle anything questionable, when in truth, the questionable abounds.

i am not saying, go hire some crystal toting freak, but i am saying, pray. pray about everyone you contact and utilize for coaching. i went to a "meditation for christans" workshop series once, the lady gave cursory acknowlegement to the church fathers but all her resources were secular. while that is not all bad in and of itself, she said her boyfriend and her participated in the largest "meditation" in the world, some 2,000 (maybe 20,000) people meditating together in central park, this in conjunction with "attaining the high levels of zen buddism." that was it for me. i was a praying skeptic until then, but that convinced me that the forces "guiding" this particular coach, while cloaked in "christianese" and presented in a church, were not of God.

i say this because i think we fear too much. but God can keep your mind and heart safe. be a praying skeptic, don't be a fearful christian.