something from my journal:
there is the cutest little girl here at the park with her dad. he is teaching her how to rollerskate. he goes about three feet then circles back, calling to her, encouraging her. his voice is gentle and he says, "yes, sugar."
they skated a while and she says, "i can't."
the dad goes to her and they skate on together for a while longer. they go to a table and the little blonde girl in her innocent voice says, "i want this to be our table daddy."
and he says, "okay."
they sit for a while and she is turned loose on the playground. she goes to the swing and says, "daddy."
"yes, sugar."
"i want you to push me."
"i think i can do that."
he goes to her, an attentive father and she says, "swing with me."
he does.
my child calls to me from the jungle gym, "mom, come play with me."
"in a minute," i reply i am writing this.
"daddy," jordan says, "watch me."
"okay." he doesn't just watch from a bench or read a book, or write like i do, he goes to the jungle gym and talks to her as she plays. a good father.
later, jordan, her daddy, and my girl, went fishing for crawdads. my girl has always wanted to do that, but i'm not a native texan so those things gross me out. a good father teaches others, not just his own. and i sat reading on a bench nearby.
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2 comments:
It's so hard sometimes to be present for others, especially small children, when we have something we'd rather do.
I multi-tasked when my kids were small, and I think it bothered them that even when I was there, I was "not there", even if I was looking at them while they were talking to me.
That's the scariest thing in some ways about being a writer. Getting consumed by the inner world. My husband's worried I might burn the house down because I've forgotten food cooking on the stove.
Yesterday, while driving to see a friend, with another friend in the passenger street, I stopped at a stop sign, lost in my daydreams and just stopped as if I was waiting for a light to change. "You're scaring me," my friend said. "Didn't you have your quiet time today?"
We're present to the work or present to the moment. It's hard to do both.
yeah deb, i hear you. i left a pot on the stove the other day while we were im-ing. but i don't think it has to be either/or. and i don't ignore my child all day. i don't pay attention to her whenever she demands it, but i try to focus on her when she needs it. we can be slaves to our children's demands too. it's a hard call. i get lost in my thoughts a lot too. but that is just my wiring. i don't get down about it, i work with it.
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