Monday, July 18, 2005


once before i returned to college, my girl friend introduced me to the concept of being in debt with time. it had never occurred to me to be possible, but there it is. i knew the validity of it the moment i heard it.

it is nearly 2:30, we just got in from swim lessons, gathering plants which a friend shared from her garden, which i then transplanted in mine, we brought home black swallowtail butterfly caterpillars, eggs and food plants, as well as gulf fritillary necessaries, after printing the homeschool group's newsletter, and in between the lines i'm reading books i've got to get reviewed. i've an editing job for a friend that has taken the back seat for well over a month. i'm fried.

it is strange to say i am in debt with my time because i spend hours in my garden now. that is why i can't get the reading done. or the cleaning. (come to think of it, i wasn't so good at keeping the house pristine even before i gardened.) so much going on out there, so many blooming glories smiling at me whenever i sit there, i cannot ignore such beauty.

then butterflies flit in and, well, you know what i think of that. the big fat bumblebees are my favorite, they zoom past sounding like miniature mopeds. they are so fat and their stripes so striking, i cannot help but gaze at them in wonder.

sitting on the ground on sunday, i was deadheading and watering at the post office (a girl scout service project i've adopted as my own), and a man walked up to check his mail.
tough job, but somebody's got to do it

he said with a smile. and i laughed. i was scantily clad, soaking in the sun and relaxing while i did my work. it occurred to me, urban beauty must be cultivated.

my labor is not that intense. it is not the stuff of jackhammers and airguns, but in the rest of life, the unlovely parts, the necessary bits, they seem to be stuck in between the gardening. where once the weed sprung through cracks in the cement of my daily routine--and no one could get me outdoors--now i am hardpressed to be indoors accomplishing stuff.

my problem then is probably not timedebt but balance. i've never been good at it. i don't have the temperment that nibbles on a paperthin wedge of cheesecake, no, i'm a death by chocolate in the biggest bowl you can find kind of gal. see, i need balance.

i need to go do some laundry so my husband can have something to wear to work tomorrow.

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