Thursday, May 06, 2010

can you

keep me safe and warm? i wonder sometimes, how people manage alone. i swear sometimes it is only the belief of others in me that gives me strength to take another step. the trust in my core is undiminished, but that's not without being tested. i can't not trust because others are untrustworthy. i can't live like that.

so what to do?

trust. it is the only answer i ever come back to that makes any sense at all.

trust that it will work out.

i was trying to explain this to a friend, i do not trust in any one person or thing, in any deity or any tangible (or intangible thing), save trust alone. i trust. that's it. it is not a focused trust but a way of life. that i trust it will be well, and it is. it always is.

though darkness descends and i tremble, it remains the right thing to do.

very much like that scene in chronicles of narnia where the boy had to walk through the fog on a precipice, and could only feel aslan breathing.

i need to feel the warm breath of aslan to get through this.

i'm afraid. it's dark. i'm alone, but in actuality, i'm not.

i know there is a web of love surrounding me, holding me up, holding me together sometimes. and it is this web, this love, this certainty that i trust.

it will be well.

how does it?

i don't know, it's a mystery.

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