Saturday, July 24, 2010


it comes in many forms. for some, it is the unspeakable. the avoidable. the danger zone. for me, it is the fertile soil, the air i breathe. i don't know that it's right, necessarily, to speak truth as much as possible, as often as possible, but it's all i know. it is my greatest liability. and so the trend continues. i speak my truth, affirm who i am, and find myself less afraid.

it was time to tell her. she had to know. i want always and only for her to know me. and so she does. good bad or indifferent.

what does this mean, perhaps more than i understand at the moment. it's all new to me. i am green in this life. but i want to live it on my terms. to be open and honest as i can be. and her knowing was key to my moving forward.

and so she does.

what now? life goes on as before in some respects because nothing has changed. that's the thing about the truth. it is not dealing any new facts into the matter, save awareness. understanding. possibly, misunderstanding, fear, prejudice. that is always a possibility. but the risks are worth the truth, always have been in my mind.

i could not live freely if i were trying to not be who i am. the thing is, i'm always discovering something new. there is a strange confidence here, a fierce courage. and a willingness to grow. it has been so good. and i want to grow.

a girl at work told me of a trial she endures on a regular basis, i listened but was not afraid.

in my own life, on my own terms, i am going to grow. to celebrate. to discover what it means to be the woman that i am.

i trust it will be well.

and so it shall.

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