Sunday, November 21, 2010

curiouser and curiouser

times they are a stranger. sometimes i forget myself who i am, where i'm headed, what i want. but i do know what i don't want, especially when it's staring me in the face.

sometimes i wish i could see what's down the road so i could plan. i plan as much as i can anyway, but i never know if my plans are actually going to come to fruition. i guess that is the story of every farmer. they plant, the tend, they wait, they harvest. my story is no different from any others, save that it is mine.

tonight i am leaning into the weekend, wishing it were here sooner than it will be, but knowing, it's better to be in the moment at hand than wish it away. even if it is uncomfortable or painful. there is nothing that happens without meaning.

so when i surprise myself, and behave in ways i wish i wouldn't. or when i'm surprised by the behavior of others who behave in ways i wish they didn't. i just have to cut everyone some slack and offer peace.

i want that more than anything.

i want to not be mistreated either. i won't accept it. i can't. i've worked too hard to change my life to accept poor treatment, and so, i will not.

it is strange, the past twenty four hours, but there was some purpose. something i will understand someday.

and perhaps it all unfolded as it should, though now i have to trust that is the case.

and soon, my love will be in my arms again, and i will be grateful.

No comments: