welcome

i have decided on my new year's resolution. it is, welcome new friends.

i can be about as hospitable as an arid desert for a fern given the right circumstance. but, i am trying to change that this year. i will trust those who come into my life are meant to be there and welcome them.

how will this translate to real life, i don't really know. i am going to try a mental shift first. to determine to welcome others. that is my angle on it.

the thing about resolutions is, they can't be impossible, but they really set the tone for the coming year. i wanted mine to be optimistically challenging. to make a game of something i don't necessarily excel at. i can be friendly when i want to be, but usually people have to navigate the brier patch before they reach the friendly patch. very pisces.

this year, will try to engage others in dialogue and make them feel at ease. perhaps, the less i focus on myself, the more outwardly welcoming i am, the easier it will be for them to navigate the brier patch. because if i think that will automatically be gone, i'm just f-f-f-foolin' myself. it will take a process of time for me to change the way that i relate naturally. that process begins now.

i have noticed i don't walk up to people hand outstretched and say my name. this is a courteous, professional greeting and i must adopt it. i tend to go silent when in a group of new people and i will try, earnestly try, to engage in the conversation. mostly when i'm with a new crowd, i will answer questions if asked, but i don't feel the need to dominate the conversation. if someone chimes in and cuts me off, i let them have the floor. i don't need the floor. ever.

this results in my being silent a lot of the time.

mostly because i'm okay with not saying what i think aloud. i don't have any felt need to do that. but i've come to understand that engaging people, drawing them out, is not easier when i'm silent for long periods. because then i ride that silence to shutdown and that has to change.

so, outstretched hand, warm greeting, gentle inquiry and response.

at least that's what i'm gonna try. who knows if it will work.