Tuesday, October 16, 2012

more baby, more

perhaps it's that the more time i spend with my love, the more time i want to spend with my love that is so comforting. perhaps it's how we laugh. perhaps it's how i realize i've wasted, used up all the sappy lines before now and it all has to be reinvented, for this one. from the ground up. i can't just quote a line or cite a sonnet, because it's all been done. all been said. this is a new place for me. i have not felt this good with someone ever before. and i am grateful.
so as my students lament their comings and goings, admitting they'd like to fastforward through now to see if
it was worth it.
i remember that feeling. being there. not knowing. that i can only reply,
oh yes, it is.
is more proof that this is new.
i have spent many days wanting that someone who could meet me, completely. to be entirely present to me. mind, body, soul. i have spent so many days grappling with the desire for a conscious loving partner versus the present partner, that i am stunned by the two being one at this point in my life. i had not foreseen this. nor could i ever.
so what's there to say when it's all good. every bit of it is scrumptious. what is there to say. how to describe it. i am listening and watching, holding my heart open that words may find their way to this place. i have such a keen ability to capture loss, and grief. so much experience with pain, that i wonder, what will it be like when i can capture joy this way. the sheer beauty, magnificence of life, of love. what will that be like.

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