my epigraph

she incited men's passions

i won't even tell you what nationality he was, lest this become a racial slam. i don't intend that. but i drive like a granny since the ramplaunch. my husband today said,

it's slippery out there.

he makes a point of telling me,

drive slow!

these days. before leaving for work.

the good news being, he wants me alive.

the fact of the matter, i'm carrying precious cargo.

so, i stop at the yellow light. (NOTE that, and give me credit).

wait patiently my turn, and proceed through T junction into parking lot to obtain some overpriced undernourishing yummies, and following behind the car which had stopped where there was no stop sign (why do people do that?), this black camry who thinks he's being gracious by letting the stopped car in front of me go (it was a blazer, i think that had the right of way), so he --the black camry man--lays on the horn when i follow the blazer through the intersection.

sigh.

i've rebuffed a few in my day with a hearty horn blast. i've let a few fingers fly in my day. i've done it all kids. but the people now, are crazy. the drivers, insane. worse than LA i think. too many nationalities, too many people thinking they have the right of way (and if they are crazy, let them have it whether they actually have it or not, my new rule. but knowing when one is crazy is the tricky part).

so, mr. blackcamry blazing his horn is about 2/3 of my car length behind me, making a point of blasting my ear so i know he's there. i saw the crazy man, but i did have the right of way. had i known he was really crazy. i would have let him go.

crazy before beauty, i always say.

so i stop. crazyman exits car, i get a glimpse of him, and launch my car forward, no good can come of crazyman being around my vehicle. i instinctively lock my doors (again, yes they were all ready locked), but one never can be too sure. and crazyman gets in his car to follow me because i doubled back to the T junction to get away from crazyman.

well, crazyman is right behind me.

again, no good can come of this and i'm not about to lead a crazyman home.

so i stop my car before i block myself in (the light was red, but the turn signal right was green, so i knew it wasn't going to be long).

crazyman jumps out. i lurch forward again. just enough to get him back in his car and without a clear view of me. he was crazy i tell you.

crazyman, proceeds to turn right. i whip around, back through the T junction and double back through the parking lot completely opposite of where i was initially headed and out a side exit.

but there is a red light. and crazyman is not behind us. but i still don't block myself in. i leave an out. and tell my daughter,

if crazyman shows up, we go through those two cars there, or over that median. getting away from him is all that matters. you see, how i can fit our car through there.

sometimes, it doesn't matter if you're right, you just have to let crazy people be right because they think they are right in their own minds.

yes.

she said.

very silent.

she didn't know what was going on. i'm sure she was scared.

but i'd been advised on situations like this before and watching all those crazyman shows on tv remind me that people will do things unexpected and to keep moving, get away.

once in a self defense class, actually, it was when i took karate, my sensei was a police officer. he said,

women, if a man with a gun pointed it at you from a parked car and said get in, what would you do?

some said,

get in.

he said,

no! run. the opposite direction of the way he's facing, because he won't have a clear shot of you. even if he did, odds are he won't hit anything vital. and if he did, better to die there then cut up in tiny bits in some crazyman's backwoods apartment (no, that is just my warped mind kicking in, but you understand the warning).

plus, being a cop's daughter i watched my dad. did what he did. he was very aware. my husband has this attribute and i admit, i've let it slide. i want to be taken care of. but there are many times, more eyes, more keen awareness is what is needed, not someone coasting on the alertness of another. sometimes, i must be the alert one.

i get on the wrong freeway (not intentionally, mind you, but because it has become my inadvertent habit. i will miss it, i'm sure, when i figure these damn freeways out and just get on and off where i'm supposed to).

crazyman does not follow us, praise God.

i am not woefully lost in new york (the freeways out here are crazy. if you miss your exit, Lord have mercy. you may end up crossing a huge bridge before you can turn around. i got blessed, i hit a cloverleaf exit and was able to do two loop de loos and made it home, or back to our village safely.)

sigh.

so i incite men's passions. it is not always a good thing. when it results in poetry or song, verse or creativity, God be praised. but when it goes the bad way. i am just grateful there are more watchful eyes than mine. more guiding hands than mine.

and that He is not through with me yet.