not through yet.

i'm up early and on the road by 6:15 this morning. robert bly was doing an 8am session on rumi, and i had to, had to be there. or so i thought.

i stood not two feet from him last night. and didn't say anything to him. i just didn't have anything to say. so i just stood there. smiling.

this morning, it's slick with rain, and i thought i was watching my speed, but apparently wasn't. or maybe it was me hitting the breaks, but i've fishtailed before and never hit the breaks. so i don't see why i would do that this time. i just remember the car veering right, then left and launching onto the freeway below.

yes, not the state approved way of entering highways, i assure you.

fortunately, the air bags did not deploy, which was a miracle realized only after, i turned the longsuffering toyota around (i was in the middle of the freeway facing the wrong direction with a flat tire).

and i pulled to the side of the road. give me credit for getting out the spare, finding the jack and crowbar, and trying. but it didn't work. i had no clue where to stick the thing, and i could only think of an old comedy where the guys put the jack in the wrong place and it came through the hood.

so i didn't try much. i was pretty freaked out.

so i decide, well, it's not going to fix itself. and since i don't have a cell phone, i'll start walking.

it was drizzling rain and i went back to the car for an umbrella. then decide to see what is on the other side of those bushes that flank the freeway.

an apartment complex, fortunately. i'm wading through the bushes and runoff to a chain link fence which i know i'm going to impale myself on if i try, so i don't try, i resorted to damsel in distress, because i saw a man carrying stuff to his car.

sir, i've had an accident.

he didn't have a clue where i was calling him from, since the freeway was right behind me.

sir, i'm by the trash can.

i'm waving from the bushes and not tall enough to even look over the fence just put my hand across it.

he waved at me. and started walking over after loading up his car.

do you have a cell phone i can borrow, i've had an accident. i need to call my husband.

yes.

so i call.

poor guy, my hubby wanted to sleep in. and now, not only does he not get to, i'm needing him to play prince charming and come rescue me.

and he does.

i'm thinking all kinds of things, what have i done to the toyota now? of course just before it is almost paid off. though, that may be the best time to ruin cars, i'm not sure.

but it used to pull to the left and i kind of took care of that.

a nice man who was a supervisor for the state of new jersey pulled over with the flashy lights on his truck and since it looked like he was one of those side of the road rescue people, i let him change my tire.

i was precariously close (or so it felt as i sat there) to the onramp of the freeway, and i had filled up the tank with gas before i got on. i could only think of all those cop rear end explosions and such and really wanted to move the car.

so the guy changes my tire. it looked so much easier than i thought and now i know where to put the jack. just like the little picture on the jack. duh!

but i'd never seen it put there, frankly, i've never really seen a tire changed. i was going to take an auto mechanics course in college until i realized it wasn't just changing tires, it was the whole shebang. too much information. that's like asking my husband to take a course in the history of poetry, meter, rhyming and verse. pointless. it would never happen. needless to say, i did not change my own tire.

so after about an hour my hubby shows up and then the cops pull over to see if all is well (one had passed me by as i stood on the side of the freeway with my umbrella. i could have used his help, then. but it was handled when they finally showed up).

all this to say, i guess God's got more for me to do because i'm still here. a little banged up and shaken. but fine. i opted out of the last day of dodge in case i really messed up something on the toyota and it died. so i came home.

i'll miss some bly readings today, but not much else. i'd seen everyone else. and i did get to see bly read last night. i'm still pretty tired and fighting a cold, though i am mostly well. it has been freezing at dodge. it was raining much of the day yesterday and i was willing to cuddle strangers, that is how cold it was.

one guy sitting in front of me had no jacket. just two shirts on. his shivers were making me cold. i wanted to rub his arms, or something, wished i had something i could give him, but nothing.

it was a wild time. and i've still not processed denver. so maybe i'll have some time to do that. maybe.

btw, half-leaf flew away yesterday while i was at dodge. mr. picky flew away while i was in denver. i got to see half-leaf, as we came home early friday. they got out of here just before the cold. praise God.