silent professions

this is one of those topics that chose me. i have now, these two words which have come together and i could go many directions with them.

in my corner chair, i've noticed a few things. libraries are not refuges, havens of silence any more. the kids are back in school, but the librarians (one in particular) seem to noisily conduct themselves.

the corner chair is located about ten feet from the check-out desk. one gentleman librarian seems to dislike either his job or people. regardless of which it is, he is in the wrong profession. because he sits behind a little desk and cycles through people.

at our library when you check out videos, cds, and dvds, they come in plastic cases to keep you from stealing them. to remove these cases, the librarians place the bottom of the case on a metal silver contraption (a very technical word), to release the clear top.

the media is liberated and the plastic case is recycled for the next returned media.

the grey haired librarian, seems nice enough. except that after liberating media, he launches the cases down into the receptacle. where they crash into the previously launched cases with a CRASH!

i've come to believe if you hate people or your job, you need to be working where you can vent your frustrations. a machine shop. a sports field. somewhere you can be loud.

there is so little silence here. so little to be found and cherished. and what i do manage to find, i want to enjoy. i think my hearing is improving, which is a frightening prospect as i will soon, like my husband, hear the mouse that farts in a field 100 yards away.

some have advised me to wear earplugs. which seems to me, defeating the purpose of silence. granted, there is none, or very little. but, buffetting myself against the sound is not easy nor is it the best option for me. it's really just a form of artificial stimulation, though this is a stimulation of silence.

i don't want to insulate myself from life. even from the man who sits behind my chair and rattles the pages of the newspaper, and yawns twenty times in a row (loudly), then sighs heavily to punctuate his efforts.

i've stopped using my mp3 player, for the most part. though i found when i travelled, it made for a most enjoyable trip. that was nearly an entire day of travel, so a little comfort music was in order.

this everyday mucky mucky with life is every day. on going. won't stop. i either learn to cope with it or find ever increasing means to insulate myself against the sound.

strangely enough, since returning from denver, i've found more silence by being silent myself. no radio. no tv. no noise of any kind. then when the sirens blare, i laugh. oddly enough. when the imposter sounds creep in my windows, they are the exception not parting me from non-existing silence.

i guess i've found a way to create some silence, and a large part of that has to do with being silent myself. not expecting it from others, but grateful when it is undisturbed.