mr. creep me out

there is this man i met once at the park, i didn't meet him. i saw him and avoided him. men without children at parks (this is the only playground type park around) creep me out.

though i met the pianist that same day, but he was turned away from the children's play apparati reading a book. this other fellow was sitting there staring at the kids climbing thingies. since my kid was the only one on it, i was pleased when she wanted to get the heck out of there.

well, mr. creep me out turns up at church. holds my hand at the exchange of peace way longer than i'm comfortable so i yank it back. which is kind of like demanding change from a homeless guy selling pencils. pretty rude.

but i'm creeped out.

i try to be kind and accomodating, but i know my beloved will tell me.

stay away from that guy.

it is comforting to have his intimidating presence towering over me at get togethers. but i want to do a full year of the liturgy at least (when am i going to get this opportunity again?) and now with the new music director playing mendelssohn and bach at every service. i can't miss it. i can't stand not being there. it is truly a delight.

i still don't listen to the sermons which is more about me than my priest.

but mr. creep me out ends up with serious health issues. and i feel terrible, of course. but i had decided it would fall to the escorted ladies at the church to welcome this man, and the men, where in God's name are the men?

i appreciate that the men of the church are busy opening doors and helping out. but where they could be most effective is mentoring mr. creep me out. yes, that would be delightful.

he needs a man more than a woman at this point, in my opinion.

this reminds me, some of the men have these bone cruncher handshakes. i actually cry out in pain after exchanging peace with them. how bound up in performance anxiety do you have to be to crunch a lady's hand at church? i do not know, i do not know. but men, hear me out, if a woman you're shaking hands with suddenly contorts her face and bellows, OUCH. you're probably using your killer handshake. no need, no need.

okay, so back to my story. mr. creep me out is part of the flock now. and once when i was doing a deprivation, i got up early and went for a walk. i'm standing under some trees watching the blue jays (how i speant a great deal of my time when i first got here), and he walks up.

where do you live,

he asks

of course that is the last thing i want him to know.

i see him around town, come to find out he's a professor at the college. though i'm struggling with just receiving him warmly, but not too warmly. when i hear about the turn of events. i feel terrible but restrain my comments to apologies for not getting over to the hospital to visit (i did think about it). and general inquiries about how it's going.

he asks again,

where do you live?

i avoid answering specifically. and pray God sends some men to mentor this man.