oh, no!

there is a poem i wrote some time back. about things i don't want to know. i learned one of those things tonight. my sister gave me a membership to a gym. they checked my oil and looked under the hood, introduced me to the machines and told me my body fat index. oh Lord, that i could have done without.

i've never been thin, but i'm short. so on those graph charts that say how thin you should be, i should weigh something i've weighed only once when i was ten probably. (see, i'm trying to do all this without spilling my digits. very delicate digits there).

i applied for my passport today. the lady told me,

they are probably going to reject your signature.

great,

i said,

what do i do? that is my signature.

you remember those spirographs from back in the day? they make those swirly patterns? well, that is how my signature looks. so i said,

please photocopy my social so they can see that i actually sign that way.

and she did, said,

it might help.

can you photocopy my license? it's signed that way there too?

no, they can access it.

she said.

it looks like a child's scribble, not to be demeaning.

she was trying to be nice, honesty is brutal sometimes. if i can dish it out, i sure as hell better learn to take it, eh?

i've hung it up over at ma. i was a burden i think. something about setting myself up as the wounded artist. i don't know that it is a show. it just is. i'm a wreck. how it comes across on the page, if i seem to be feigning woundedness, i don't know. but i do know it was time for me to walk away from yet another group.

i read to a crowd of hardened nj poets the other night. i was so well recieved that it is hard for me to miss anyone passing from my life these days. there is just so much happening in terms of art.

when i went to the gym tonight the lady sharing my delicate digits asked me,

what is your occupation?

poet.

i said.

i've never met a poet before.

hopefully, it will go well, i will drag myself back to the gym where i was rebuked for not drinking enough water (i drink tea and coffee.

they dehydrate you,

she says.

you must drink water!)

fine. fine. and i must work out three times a week. it will help my head. i've needed a new diversion. excercise will do.