know your power

so today is the second time i've been told, by a significant woman in my life, that i don't know my own power.

the first time i was told was before i moved to new york.

it was a line from a movie,

she said. she couldn't remember it exactly, but when i heard it, i wrote it in the margins of the book i was reading (if i had written it in a journal it would be buried there now, never to be resurrected).

but here it is:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so other people won't feel insecure around you. We were all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us, it's in all of us. As we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

i believe that. i believe that with my whole heart. fortunately, i'm not surrounded by people who need me to put a damper on my light, but seem to come equipped with bellows of their own to stoke my fading embers.

the passage above was taken in one way or another from a merton quote. it was in conjections of a guilty bystander. (convoluted, but well worth it to read).

you know you're smart.

she said to me today. and looked me staight on, as i sheepishly hold a pillow.

you just don't know your own power.

i keep trying to be unafraid. i keep trying to be brave. but somehow, i shrink back. and i need to remember, my strength strengthens others.