can't say

i'm not grateful for them not letting me leave until i have rescheduled teeth maintenance. apparently, i need it. looking after myself isn't one of my fortes. what can i say, bad habits die hard.

but yesterday, when it felt like they shoved a folding chair in my mouth and opened it, i was trying not to drown in my saliva, and they finally remembered i was there and it wasn't the hood of a car they were working under--and suctioned me. my arms fly up and i start tweaking because the little latex gloves they wear tickle my mouth and the work being done seems to always be deep in my mouth so i drown pretty rapidly. hate that.

the conversations they don't need to have include flesh eating viruses, especially when a. i can hear them. (which i can, i'm right there, they are working in my head) b. the dentist is wearing a bandage on her face. c. i can't ask clarifying questions (have you asked questions with people's hands in your mouth lately? not gonna happen).

i got a chatty hygenist too. she didn't ask me yes or no questions either. things like, how many children do you have? where are you from? shit like that. meanwhile, she's digging around in my mouth and she's nice and all, but i just want to suffer through my biannual torture, and get on with my life.

so the dentist numbs me up and i realize, they walk up to you with those big needles out of sight. then they spring 'em on you. long needles, injecting stuff into your head. usually i'm good with whatever they give me but yesterday i needed a second shot of something. and then, back to work, drilling away like a road crew working the street.

and i crank metallica just so i can get through it. i'm a wimp, what can i say.

but if they didn't pester me for my next appointment, i wouldn't be falling over myself to go back. at least my kid has really good teeth and never needs work. she's only ever had one cavity in her life. gotta love that.

i don't think i like dentists much. even though mine is very kind. and, perhaps gentle. i don't know. her hands feel like they are huge and she's always digging around in my head. not good. so not good.