Sunday, June 30, 2013

ok dork

so. as sometimes happens, go to open my paper for a final read before i turn it in. i always, always, always reread the submission guidelines to be sure i did the assignment. an early faux pas in this regard when working on my aa mentally scarred me, so i double, triple, and quadruple check.
have i mentioned i have ten thousand balls in the air. there are endless details every single day. and this paper has been shoved to the back of my mind for weeks now.
i knew when i wrote it that i was doing something i wanted. but something i want, as pertains to the assignment, and something i want, being just my own road without permission, so to speak, are entirely different things.
since this is the one professor who gave me my only 90 percent this entire semester of three classes, i'm not willing to risk going down my own road. so, at 9am, i sat down and wrote an entirely new paper, this time, within the specified roads to choose from.
mind you, i'm not looking for more work to do. i wanted nothing more than to hit, turn in paper at 9am. but when i reread the instructions for the umpteenth time, they were not what i had thought they were before. firstly, my paper focused on aspects of three creatives. it required one. there were some other variations, but none of them gave the menage a troi option. so i reconfigured my thinking accordingly.
fortunately, i can write for days and it doesn't do much harm. the first step was to find the book i wanted, and an article to contrast (it was a comparison sort of paper he requested). fair enough. i found that. check. then, i flipped through and figured out which article to focus on. interestingly, this was something that has honed my thinking all along in this class, it came from the first book we read, a tome of words and ideas enough to make you want to drown yourself, or as i'm fond of saying, back the car over my head. check.
i laid out the paper, and filled in the associative blanks. paper done. it is over length by one page, but i figure, the article's theory was rather extensive, and that gives me a little leeway. this is my gamble. at least, if i'm going over it is on topic, rather than going over off topic, thank you very much go directly to jail and do not pass go.
i read my paper aloud and my audience was doubled back in their chair wallowing in freakish misery. but, i knew the paper would do. if it was that boring, it has to be good. or something like that. at least it's on topic.
of course i didn't hit submit yet. i have until 11pm to tweak it. maybe i'll find some way to lose an entire page. maybe not. i am thinking, i have done the best i can and it will suffice. if i hadn't felt that way yesterday, it would be a more comforting thought. but a few hours respite, a final editorial pass through and she'll be off.
to garner a hundred percent, i hope.

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