Sunday, January 29, 2006

you are safe

i spent the better part of the weekend i was in denver weeping. it was such a loss of dignity, that i felt like a leper. i usually don't have this reaction to my tears, but i wanted to make a good impression. i wanted to be all right. but i was not. i separated myself to keep the others from feeling uncomfortable around me because i couldn't quell the tears.

i have come to understand now that it was some deep healing taking place. some vast torrent of tears locked up, which finally found release. but i still felt like a leper.

this is one of my favorite Bible stories. Jesus, being unafraid, and reaching out to touch the leper.
A leper came to him (and kneeling down) begged him and said, "If you wish, you can make me clean." (mark 1:40)

judith and many of the artists that weekend were Jesus to me in that they reached out to touch me, the leper. judith held my face in her hands and looked into my eyes and said, it is going to be all right. and i smiled.
Moved with pity, he stretched out his hand, touched him, and said to him, "I do will it. Be made clean." (v. 41)

we do not know the effect our acts of mercy and kindness will have on people. i was healed of many things that weekend, no doubt spiritual leprosy.
The leprosy left him immediately, and he was made clean. (v.42)

i had a conversation recently where i mentioned i was between churches at the moment. and asked if that was okay.

the response?
you are safe.

i am safe.

i am safe.

those words wash over my soul and i sigh in relief.

i am safe.

i am safe.

i keep saying them to my friends, because i believe it is the kind of thing Jesus would say.

you are safe.

nothing in my life has had the appearance that i am safe. but i have trusted the Lord to breach the gap. to make up for the lack submission has left in my life. and to hear those words, you are safe comforts me more than you can imagine.

you are safe. i am safe. praise be to God.

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