between the lines

one of the peculiarities of my gifting is that i get these pieces of work that leave me studying to catch up. as if all my synapses are firing away far ahead, lightyears ahead of my intellect. and, well, they are.

by bypassing my conscious processing of work, i intentionally give over my control of what will come when and how. i do not craft anything. i write what i hear, the way i hear it. i see a portrait in my mind's eye, if you will, and paint it.

the tricky part is dealing with all the unsaid. my characters of choice of late are these women of the bible whom i seem to understand somehow. though their untold stories leave me writing words in ways some question. i can only reason the poem, pray, and study to decide if what i'm saying has merit.

such is the case with a poem i just got. it surprised me by its arrival. i had not even thought of the character at all in the months before i wrote it. but during my deprivation, i came to a realization. a deep psychological bent in me was uncovered and i pondered it. questioned it. sat with it. mystified by it.

i do not understand it. but by realizing those things that lie hidden under the years past, i find that i can somehow access a bit of the story of these women of the bible. not intentionally mind you. i don't sit down at my desk and say, hmm. what would eve say?

no, the poems result from some hideous sin committed. the eve speaks poems came directly from my experience of falleness and betrayal. so this new series will likely come from the fallow ground of my just realized past.

i do not want to make up their stories. somehow, i just find myself writing them down. saying, this is who she is, can you not see her, in all her flawed humanity? can you not believe the God of heaven loves her as He loves me and loves you?

i see these women. i don't know how. i understand them. i don't know why. but i hope these works can be released for public consumption at some point. right now, i'm holding them close to and praying. a lot.