church ladies

one of the things my girl enjoys is vbs (vacation bible school). it's her summer "mini" school, i guess you could say. she loves God, so it's a week of crafts, kids, songs, kids, and just good fun.

so moving here, i asked around wondering if we'd be able to find any. in texas they are a big deal. they go on for about six weeks. last year, i think my girl went to four or five. she enjoys it, so why not? moving here i thought it a bit of normalcy or tradition that i could maintain, since she's been going to these things since she was four.

none in my village, i found that out pretty quick (get this, the lady who gave me the skinny on that said, the churches in our villiage used to get together to do vbs. but when the charismatic churches came into the villiage, they didn't want to do any ecumenical stuff. which i find to be incredibly sad. the last vestige of ecumenism is the soup kitchen housed in my parish). so there was one 45 minutes away, and i thought, well, if i have to i will. not that i wanted to drive that far, mind you. but for the child anything is do-able.

we found one just around the corner in neighboring mahwah, nj. we pulled into the parking lot and there was only three or four cars, if that. it was a nice church, large play area/equipment (they have a school/daycare).

so we go in. the priest is one of those light of the world types. really on fire. gregarious. his wife, was registering people and invited me to stay (i was going to sit in the car and read). i had my earbuds in and they were yammering away, so i go out and retrieve my books, and decide to give it a go.

we sit at a table and no one, none of the kids join us. i'm a strange adult granted, but my girl is just sitting there. after all the kids park themselves at other tables. then the pastor, his wife, assorted adults join us.

i asked

do you sing a lot?

we had sung grace in the rounds (which was cute). but

i had been to one of these types of churches in texas, for a girl scout thing,

i said.

we try,

the priest's wife said.

ah.

so i read when i could. and they all adjourned to the sanctuary for worship. which is a loud event as all the kids are singing and making hand movements. etc. so i avoided it (would you expect any less, really?).

the lady sitting beside me was still eating, she got her food last and asked.

aren't you going to join them?

i said.

no.

i asked,

is this usually a small church?

yes. we have around forty on sunday.

my church is small too,

i said.

we've got about twenty on sunday. i go to church a, while my husband and daughter go to church b.

i find this amusing, if nothing else. she was not impressed.

well i'm glad you came to the C church's vbs. stressing the C

(i'm trying not to slam the church here folks).

have you always been a member of this church?

i asked

yes. i was born into it...

a cradle member, who detailed her qualifications for being there.

i'm from california. i'm non traditional.

i said.

what does that mean?

we don't have all the traditions. it's freeflowing. so this is all new to me. i've never felt comfortable in the traditional church.

i was trying to explain things, in the simplest, least incriminating way, you see. it didn't work. i felt condemned.

why don't you feel comfortable? they not saying what you want to hear?

she apparently didn't see my discomfort as she asked this.

no, i don't really care what brand of christian you are. we are all the body of Christ. so i've never belonged to any church.

i thought this a sound argument. she didn't. she looked at me. i think people need to realize faces say a great deal. even if you think you're masking your disdain. or being incredibly tolerant of the freak before you, it is hard to fake it. whatever it happens to be.

she got up and walked away at that point. she'd been there since 7:30 (am, i assumed). that she could make relatively civil conversation at all was a feat of major proportions.

i considered speaking with the pastor or his wife about this little convo, but figured. no. i'll just show up and let my presence be the blessing that it is.

she was tired.

so the pastor effervesces in and invites everyone to the adult bible study. well you know i'm getting out of that any way i can.

and so i did. i sat in the foyer and read a poet whom i've long wanted to read.

the thing that got me was, this event was publicized in the community. if they didn't want people to actually come, they never shoulda publicized.

there is something for me to learn from all this. what, i do not know. maybe how not to speak to people. i was reminded as i drove home that i do enjoy the company of the unsaved to the saved. there aren't godly pissing contests in the world. they don't care what church i go to. and don't hesitate to talk to me about life. not church politics. i guess that is what breaks my heart about the church.