mephistopheles

can we talk? seriously. i opened my email to find a poem from a friend. it blessed me beyond words. it was the Word of God to me this morning. i am grateful for it.

i've had some further thoughts on the demon lover. perhaps it's not so much that the lover is a demon, than that our godlike projections on the man/woman/whomever make that person take on demonic attributes. not of their own will, mind you. wholly of our projections.

this is not a conclusion i come to easily. but i have begun to realize how much good one soul can want to do for another, how beneficial things can really be and how quickly they can go awry. afoul.

results of living in the fallen world i guess. so i tell my now guy friends, keep your boundaries up. and i'll keep mine up. i don't have boundary issues with women, so no need to mention it there.

but it is good. it is all good. i just don't want to make any deals with the devil. or run a good man into the ground because i'm so free. you know what i'm saying?

that has always scared me. the meeting of needs not designed to be met by man. sometimes we stumble upon them and fill them. i've done this myself. it happened a lot when i was in high school. not so much these days because i'm aware of it. but it happens.

this blog of late is a dumping ground for everything i've got on my mind before i write. only five more pieces to write, and edit the proposal and i'm done kids.

my friends have helped me, by sheer force of will, climb the proposal wall. they all had to get under me and heave together, but they did. and i'm grateful beyond words. beyond words. i'm not embarrassed of my shoddy attempt at selling myself and actually feel pretty good about the product.

i still have to draw the line at going with my raw writing or flossing my grammatical teeth if you know what i mean.

i'm opting for rawness. i read an excerpt to my best friend over the phone yesterday and she was all silent and said,

God is in this.

no word could have mattered more. i am grateful beyond words. beyond all words.

i've much to do, so i must away. peace.