untired

at least i have this comfort, nearly everyone i talked to, or email, is in recovery mode from the holidays. it is nice to be around people and play nice. but it is utterly exhausting. and today i just want to get untired.

i'm not sure what it would require, but i took a nap today and before i drifted off, it was silent (save the hum of passing cars) and i said,

thank you God for silence.

i was jolted from my twelve hour hibernation this morning by the leaf truck. these do-gooder parks and rec people have nothing better to do than drive around and suck up all the tree leaves.

we went to feed the ducks last week, and that damn leaf truck was there, sucking up the leaves in the yard. kudos for their hard work, but sometimes i swear the machinery in this town is too much to handle.

once, the leaf guys sat out front of my house and talked on their cell phones. if they handn't moved i would have called. i'm becoming like a crotchety old man. but my silence is eradicated by the rumbling machinations of that damn truck.

i didn't tell you this, but my girl and i were walking through town one day and i saw a swan fly overhead. i thought i was dreaming. but it is hard to mistake them. then, i kind of didn't really believe it, because it was too magical to be true. i never went looking for the swan.

turns out, the swan lives at the duck pond where my girl and i were clogging up the pipes of several assorted canada geese and mallards, not to mention the damn gulls. we fling our arms out to send them flying away, but one had this piercing cry and i had to feed it. it spoke to me. so i had to feed it.

anyway, the day i didn't get to go to the intensive, i was riding along and looked out at the pond, and there was the swan. graceful, elegant. calling to me.

we've been back twice to feed it, but it has not been there.

it eludes me. but i will keep watch.

it has no mate.

but beauty like that can't stay single. so that will change. i hope my swan comes to see me again, but it seems to only appear when i need it. like a unicorn. i can't touch it, or get close to it yet, i must not be pure enough in heart.

perhaps someday.

but for today, my only wish is to be untired.
and to see my swan again.