Tuesday, July 31, 2007

warpaints and duds

i'm having this conversation with myself as i'm painting on the warpaints for an interview i'm preparing for. it's been a full two years since i've put a lick of makeup (other than lipgloss) on, and i'm asking myself,
why don't you do this more often?

it's a fact people treat you better when you wear make up and dress to the nines.

i've never wanted people to treat me better because of that. i do look damn good with makeup on (c'mon, who doesn't?), and in a suit, i clean up real well. but i used to dress up sometimes at church to see who would talk to me and who wouldn't. i noticed on weeks i wore the suit look, the suited folk would fraternize. when i would show up in my bohemian fare, or platform sandals and no makeup, just the average folk would talk to me.

curious. and this isn't all suited folk. some suited folk will talk to you regardless of how you look (i just haven't run into many of those people).

when i am all duded up, i tend to be a bit snobbish myself, so i understand it from both sides. i don't like that suzanne, so i don't dress up and paint my face very often.

when i go to poetry intensives, i dress like i want to dress, usually bohemian, flipflops and not a lick of makeup, because i don't want to be hiding from those people. i want them to see the real me.

i'm interviewing for a management position in the third level of hell, and i realized as i was painting my face, i could sell more if i wore makeup. but that feels disingenuous to me. that feels like taking advantage of people.

as an associate, style expert, i didn't care what you bought or how much. i will help you find one thing or fifty. no matter.

as a manager, there are numbers i need to be aware of, sales goals and such. also, i'll have to deal with the customer satisfaction issues directly. no more punting those bitches when they bite. i'll be the one who needs the armour plaiting.

so, as my best friend told me. the uniform of a manager is a suit, makeup, and sensible black shoes.

if i get the job, i will wear the uniform FOR the job. maybe i'll make some kind of peace with it and find it suits my life.

maybe, i'll just be my unmakeuped bohemian self every other moment of the day when i'm not working.

we'll see. but i forgot this.
i like to be purposely unmakeuped because i want people to treat me as they will treat me, regardless of what i am wearing or look like. i want to know who they are, as i know who i am. it's sort of a psychological test of sorts.

but now, i must leave off this experiment and take on another aspect. maybe.
if i don't get the job, the makeup goes back into haitus. and i continue to be au natural.

peace.

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