neverleave

we come together just for work, but then we visit each other when we're off. and it's a wonderful dysfunctional little family we've got. i wish it could stay this way always. but it is not meant to be. so i enjoy what is, knowing it won't be what will be tomorrow. as the saying goes, someone's always leaving.

and it's okay. really. we must grow, we must change, we must leave our place of comfort.

it's just hard when you stumble into someplace that is perfectly suited for you, for your peculiarities, and then you stumble out and have to function with "normal" people again. i don't know. it's just tough.

i try to enjoy fully, every moment i can, because it won't last. it can't last. nothing good ever does. but that's the cynic in me.

one quick story, then i'll go.

i didn't ever christmas shop. i know, i know. i'm lame. life has beaten the crap out of me lately, and i just don't have it high on my priority list. i did finally clean the kitchen and that was my way of saying, i love you.

sue me.

so, word got out, mostly because these are the kinds of bullshit questions we ask customers,

shopping done?

and invariably, someone asks me,

shopping done?

nope, never got started.

(seriously, i had nothing to give the kid at all. it had crossed my mind, but i've been sick and tired lately).

and one of the kids i work with, who happens to be a master at all things crafty (truly, he's amazing), had already brought me a matching set of tye died shirts for me and my girl--this unwittingly became "the gift" i was to give her.

when he heard (i think he asked me), that i had nothing else, he drove home and back to the store with a bracelet he had made and asked me if he'd like me to finish it for my girl. it is gorgeous. truly. he put it on my wrist, which is notoriously small (i have hips, and thighs, but no wrists, go figure), and finished it up for my girl and brought it all the way back to the store (trip number three that night).

then he offers to make her a second tye die shirt (or is it, tie dye?) because it's still 24 hrs before christmas eve, and i'm working the next day, so he can bring it in for me though he's not working and i am. (i gave up on him showing at around 5pm c.e., and i should have known, he'd keep his word, he's a gentleman).

anyway, the shirts were a big hit. the bracelet is gorgeous and my girl loved it.

i saw him tonight and gave him a big hug.

he did it all for me because he knew i didn't have time to go shopping. and when he was charging me for the stuff, he kept saying,

no, no. not so much.

and giving me deals. i know what he charges for the shirts and what i expected to pay, and let me just tell you, i've fallen into a crowd of people who care for each other.

which has always been my wonderful mishap. if karma is out to get me, it pays me back in people. and i'm grateful for it. because i would take people and hard times, rather than no people and good times anyday.

i've had it rough, it's been strange. but it's life. and i'm grateful, always so grateful for the people in my life who make the rough waters manageable with their kindness.

it is their kindness that keeps me afloat many times.

and i never want to leave them, or have them leave me.
but they will, and i will hold their memory in my heart.

it is why i stay where i work. why i love these kids, this crew.

they do my soul good. and we are strange, and fight, and do all the things a family does, but in the end, i think it's just that we're the right team together at this moment. and i'm grateful.

so grateful for them. to be a part of them.