flinted

let me tell you this now, while the wound is still fresh.
let me tell you this now, while the blood still runs red.
let me tell you this now, before the ache fades in memory.
let me tell you this now.

the last words she said before i hung up on her were,

you're not a christian woman!

let me tell you this now, while the salted tears stream.
let me tell you this now, while i tremble.
let me tell you this now.

i have been splayed like a specimen frog and my entrails are exposed. groping eyes and hands can easily cut them out of me and handle them.

let me tell you this now, before i resign again to silence.

it is so inexplicably rare that i am attacked in this abusive manner that i find it both disconcerting and incredibly painful. that her judgment of my walk with the Lord sits heavily upon my shoulders. that her words echo in my mind. that her anger flashed out at me through the phone. that i tried, does not matter.

i have nothing more to say.