they aren't yours, they're ours

so, long day.

i'm tired, but it's the good tired of having worked very hard, and played very hard. always nice when the two bookend into a fantastic day.

today's poetry workshop at the poetry center in paterson, new jersey with kurtis lamkin was amazing.

he utterly disarmed me. i didn't know a thing about his work before today, and i'm just grateful, completely grateful i was able to sit at his feet for a brief moment. it was an honor.

first of all, he was not an ass. which is wonderful.
he was completely accessible.

he opened his workshop in a most refreshing way,
he had US read.

he said,

to get a sense of the power in the room.

i stumbled through my poem, but it was met, as most every poem i read is met, with pin drop silence. what can i say. i'm used to it.

i don't think my little worlds need much commenting. and that these dodge poets feel the same, is humbling. truly.


i've had people tell me to publish. it's always encouraging. but i doubt. i wonder if my children are strong enough to fare for themselves in the world.

kurtis opened my mind to a lot of new ideas. many of which are just too much for this small space.

i shall write on them for school. but when he got up to read/play the kora, i was spellbound.

i'd never heard that instrument before, but it was utterly beautiful.

so finally, i get up to read. i always sign up last.
and i read a poem that has a song in it,

the ay-ay-ay-ay song (also known as cielito lindo)

and i read one other.

i went to leave and say goodbye to kurtis who said,

are you published?

not yet.

why?

because i don't fare as well as you do

(he had said, a poem of his got edited by a publisher without his consultation or consent. and he gave himself over to the fate of the poem).

i am not so gracious when i get edited. i stop publishing. they're mine.

they aren't yours, they're ours.

he said.

essentially ending all arguments i have against publication.

i've been piddling around with some selfpublishing ideas. i may take a stab at a few more journals. i don't know. i really don't know. but i feel compelled now, as custodian of the muse to not crimp the line.

to let my works out into the public. perhaps not the most recent ones, but some of them will certainly be made available.

the student is ready.