Monday, September 27, 2010

naughtenuf

i will be the first to tell you i'm a hopeless romantic. that i believe love can conquer anything. vanquish any foe.

yet i have just come to understand that i have been wrong.

the gravity of this revelation is what stuns me now. how i held out for love, hoped in it, wished for it, trusted it.

but it is not meant to be so. there are some things love simply cannot remedy.

hell, i know this first hand, i'm in the middle of a messy divorce. i'm struggling to keep my head above water. why would i even dare dream of love now?

because i'm a fool and always have been.

my daughter said to me today,
text her and ask.


no. i can't.
i told her, and i tried to tell her why, but resorted to,
i'm mad at her.

though i'm not.

no, i love her,
doesn't make any sense. i can't explain the foolishness of it.

so i have said, as i will say,
i love her and wish her well.


for me this is not about right and wrong. good or bad. it is simply what is. and what is not meant to be.

i am a fool, i understand this. but even a fool knows when it's time to leave.

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