Thursday, September 23, 2010

censor me

one of the things i don't do well is censor myself. lately, i have been deleting more than i've been posting. that's not me and i think the problem is i'm thinking too much. about how it will sound, how it will look, better if i just don't contemplate any of that and do what i do. it has gotten me this far, not tending to the who's of it all. but lately, i've turned my attention to things that are not naturally my domain. this is problematic.

stop thinking about what i think, and what she'll say.
she said.

and she's right. i just have to write. like i've always done.

i am not the kind of writer that thrives on attention. better to tunnel my own path through the underbrush and end up where i will than announce myself.

a friend said to me last night,
come back on land pisces

because i was wafting away in the current of emotion.

try to say it, in even tones, without emotion
she counseled me

in many ways, it's easier for me to attempt to fly. and so i come here, uncertain in all areas and say again, i have no idea what or how this means or ends, but i'm still at it. still giving it my best shot. and hoping, believing, trusting, it will be well.

that which i need will come to me.

i believe this.

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