tyred

i try not to say it,

i'm tired.

because then it seems to drain me more of what little i may have at the moment.

so, i won't say it. i'll just press on.

got my packet back. she says things about my beautiful mind. i understand what i did, the angle i am taking is not expected. but that is who i am. i have to risk it. or i would not be me.

i have much yet to do. many personal obligations and such but that is not an excuse. i am not making excuses. we are in this process to learn, to grow, to challenge ourselves.

do i know how my process will bring this all together? no. i never know. but i trust it. that is all i have. trust.

in the face of some serious questions, i have only trust.

do i wish i could write like other writers, of course. at times, when charting progress and making headway are tangible ideals. but mostly, i have to just abandon myself to my best effort. to try. if i blow it, i blow it. so be it.

it will not be lack of trying that stops me. i will do this.

the acceptability factor is always a question. one i cannot answer now. nor need i ponder long, since, i am not the one who decides what is to be and what isn't.

i know only what is.