busy me

i've signed up for a poetry workshop, first one in about a year. long time. i was at these things every month back in the day, but school demanded different things of me last semester so i let it go.

but last night i belly danced for an hour, it was wonderful. my belly is beginning to change configuration, which is also nice. it's melting away for one, but also, it's hollowing out, it's almost as if i have abs. long time. don't know that i've ever seen myself with a sculpted abdomen. don't think i have. it will be a sight, and since i love subjecting others to my tan bod, it will be nice to have that bod, um, toned. yes. that's it.

not like i care, but it's something to be shimmying away and seeing your body move, delicately swaying, jiggling. even the thin sculpted girls jiggle. the ones who don't have any fat on their bodies whatsoever (obviously) and on them you can see their muscles articulate each isolation. it's gorgeous. don't know that i'll ever be there, it's not really where i'm headed, but i'm an excellent dancer if i can just get some discipline and work at it a bit harder. i'm still not free enough.

some of it comes with acceptance, i think. accepting your body as it is, the way it moves, the things it does. part of it could be costuming, i could wear things that alleviate what my body issues are, but i want to wear these particular pants with a coin hip belt that is stunning. you can't be gelatinous with that on.

you could, but i won't.

had my mammogram yesterday. that was fun. it concluded the two months of the rigors of doctors and dentists poking and prodding me like i'm some cattle up for auction at the ft. worth stockyard. it is nice to know i've taken steps to take care of myself, finally.

i'm considering a new pony. this is a tough call for me. but i've a trip to mass coming up, and i will be there for ten days. not sure if my pony will be sound enough for that. perhaps she will. nearing 200k, and, well, i just don't want to take any unneccesary risks. though, i don't envy a car payment either. it complicates things. but i'm going to start looking and i must have a jeep. i just think when i do get near them, i won't be able to say no. (i'm kind of like that)

but one of my customers is a car dealer, and told me to find what i want and he'll find someone who can give it to me for the best price possible. we'll see how that goes.

i need to workout today, worked out last night before belly dancing. and i think i'll do the same tonight. it helps to be all warm and loose before dancing. much, much more is accomplished. of course this is probably obvious, too.

i'm working with the dudes this morning and that is a good thing. i like the dudes. no drama. i'm so tired of drama. (er, that is until my boss shows up, and he's more of a woman than i am. drama king.)