come back

posted over at ma today, on art and soul.

the blue jays are a riot. i love hearing them. yesterday when i walked to town, they hovered about and cried and called. i understand this. i stood beneath them and watched them carry on for a bit. i imagine they are so in love with each other they cannot stand to be apart. so the call and cry,

come back. come back.

at least that is how i imagine it.

i awoke to their raucous chorus and it is truly a sound i do not mind. it soothes my heart to hear it actually. sounding something like i sound internally. reminiscent of a crow. yet distinct.

i must to town today. i try not to avoid these sojourns, but i also try to get them over as quickly as possible. i've got the white stripes cd to keep me moving along, it is reminiscent of zeppelin that i can't help but love it.

working through the artist's way by julia cameron. i haven't touched this book in a few years, but my pianist best friend said,

she has tools in there for dealing with shadow.

so again i am committing to morning pages, working through the book and nurturing the artist in me.

cameron says our inner artist is like a giant child. we must coddle it, and praise it, and lament when it is sad. i do pretty well with that, but i want my kid to toughen up. to not need. or want. or hope. or dream. i guess, i just want it to produce. i'm a good american in that respect. i've learned my lessons well. now i endeavor to unlearn them.

listening to good music helps. this get behind me satan cd is awesome. i can't recommend it enough.

one thing more, if patrice or jill go before zayra, i'll utterly lose faith in the judgment of the american people. while i must say that freakish get up she had on last night was eye catching (if i could wear spandex from head to toe and look like that, i'd wear it too. though, not gold). but seriously folks, do we think anyone other than delana, lucas, magni (convinced me last night, before then, i wasn't sold on him), storm or maybe patrice could front supernova? it is not a popularity contest. it's a band. the making of a band. i wish people would think about that before they vote for zayra. Lord have mercy.