that's it for me really, to have a time when i can hear myself think. no fans blowing, no neighbors rumbling above or below. just quiet. the muse can speak and i, for once, can hear.
mostly, it's a pace thing. my beloved walks fast. to get a real workout. my daughter is on bike and keeps up with him (or waits for him when she gets ahead). that leaves me, plodding along, being herded like cattle.
c'mon wife (he calls me wife)
i'm coming, i'm coming.
but i think we have different reasons for walking. i want to look at everything. to see the fat man in the purple shorts for more than a split second as we pass him by.
i want to linger, even if i don't stop. to take in the beauty of the flowers that embellish my path. so my aim, while it is not working out, is more one of aesthetic appreciation. i want to see and hear and just be out in the world at that hour.
this breakneck walking speed business does not afford me a moment to linger on the peculiarities of the day. i have to keep going, to keep up. and yet, i never quite keep up. i get to hear this running dialogue of how slow i am, which i counter with, how rediculously fast he is.
i don't like it.
the way i see it is, if i'm off my computer and actually walking, that is exercise. i'm more into the artist's walk. the meandering, dawdle of one who is looking for inspiration.
i could get inspired on a run, i'm sure. but i don't like to run. i never really have. i ran track in middle school but it was neither here nor there for me.
now if i rode a bike, for these walks, i'd be moving way faster than the rest of my speedy bunch. perhaps that is the solution then. because on foot, i'm a plodder. i just don't have any motivation to zip around like my pants are on fire.
i'm more tortoise than hare i guess is what i'm saying.
2 comments:
Thank you. Thank you so much. I needed a reason to ramble. I've got all of this thinking going on and no outlet. All is silent here, except for the kid's computer's fan. I turned it off. Now I hear the ticking of two clocks and the quiet purr of my own computer... That's pretty close to silence.
Your walking adventures remind me of our family vacations. Off we go to explore the world and are driving so fast that we can't enjoy any of it. I see flowers on the side of the road as we fly by.
Can't we just stop for a minute? I say.
You what?
Nevermind. I don't even bother to express.
I meander. I wander aimlessly. I consider flowers and plants and insects, and especially woodsy little animals.
On my way to work the other day a doe and two of her babies crossed the road in front of me. I stopped my car. I got out my camera. I rolled down the window. I took a picture of the doe and her babies as they waited patiently for me to get my act together. They went about their way and I sat there for a few more moments and contemplated the wonders I had just experienced and the joy that was flooding my soul. I thanked God for His manifold blessings as I meandered on down the road full of the beauty and the solitude that I had been allowed.
You aren't a slacker. You are just busy in other ways than straining hamstrings and pumping a heart that is busy living.
ah, sister of my soul. we are similiar creatures indeed.
you are welcome to ramble any time.
blessings,
suz.
and i don't consider what you wrote rambling, i consider it speaking a soul language.
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