damn-sel

so, the check engine light comes on. thereby fucking up my plans. i was halfway to the dmv and had to finish that, so i kept driving. the ex told me to check the oil because my car sounded (he used the technical terms) funny yesterday. i did, it was low. drive to carguys, leave car.

take this umbrella.

no, it's just rain. it won't hurt me.

let me give you a ride.

no, i'll walk. i'm ready to kill somebody. (at that he let me go)

i really, wanted to save myself this time. i'd made the trip to the carguy, and was just going to walk home. granted, it was pouring rain. a deluge. but it didn't seem that far. and i really needed a walk to clear my head. unfortunately, it was pouring rain, i may have mentioned it.

i end up turning into a restaurant after i dropped some papers off at the insurance place. i have my own insurance cards with only my name on them now. big deal, ha?

to me it is. small steps.

but then, the check engine light, and i'm not sure what to do. i'm talking to my pony, like that will help. and we make it there.

so i'm sitting in this restaurant and decide to find out if the chief is out and about. he was, so he came and got me.

so damn tired of being rescued.

it's just a call for a ride,

i'm told. but it doesn't feel that way to me.

i wanted to walk myself home. but it was far, i was in my flipflops in the rain. not a good combination.

fortunately, he will be home today, and will take me to retrieve my car when it is ready. i hope it's not too serious. that we caught it in time.

and i want to be strong, but sometimes, i just don't feel it.