Tuesday, July 14, 2009

force

when he first mentioned it, it was the first time anyone had ever called me a force of any kind.
an irresistable force,
he said.

today at lunch, they called me a
force of nature.


wait, what?


it's come up a few times in the group.


what has.


you're a force.


interesting.

i have a poem to write, it has so far been percolating in my little brain for a night, and i asked the person it will be about if they mind if i write a poem about them.

sure, i'd be flattered.


i didn't tell her what it's about.

i have to figure out how to write it now. she is, ultimately, intriguing and i think perhaps better a figment of my imagination than the real deal.

anyway, i found that interesting. and i had talks with potential advisors, those i want to work with, and the one guy is such a hardass, i doubt if i could suffer through a semester with him. though if i get him i will, i was, before that conversation going to put him down as my first choice. now, not so much.

i am now going to put my current advisor down because she said the words.

when we were speaking she said this to me,
i will push back.


and this made me smile. because i have been saying to other students,
i need someone who will push back.
i never uttered this to her. but to hear her say it is the kind of cosmic bullshit i live for.

so we had a very good discussion about what the semester could hold and now we're both excited about working together. i feel like i could thrive under her watchful eye.

now to wander to the T and find my way to boston, then the fine arts museum. i need to get out of this place it's too much. though lots of smiling faces are saying,
great reading last night.


it's nice to have peers that respect you.

this fiction writer asked me today,
are you in fiction?


hell no,
i said (always delicate and thoughtful in my replies).

sorry, didn't mean to offend you.


i can do what you do in fifty words or less.
i smiled. and he laughed.

he wanted to join us for lunch, but i think i intimidated him. ah well, wouldn't be the first man. so i'm glad i'm getting off campus today. reading a poem about seduction makes the dudes respond weirdly. and the women just walk by smiling.

it's kind of funny.

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