alas i dream

sometimes the writing writes me. sometimes the dreams come with such fervor i am conscious of them. i sleep, but my heart is awake. this morning i was dreaming and roused so suddenly from my dream state by something i had to write that it has left me trembling inside. perhaps it is from the near crash of my computer coupled with the uncertainty of whether or not i have actually backed up my current manuscript.

to have one's work locked in the bowels of a computer for even a moment is a lifetime to a writer. i hope what i wrote this morning is worthy of this tremulous relief. but it is nice to be me today.

a friend asked, so how is the book coming?

i said, it is every poet's dream. and i am living it.

it's time to thrive. it is time to sink my roots in deep and thrive. i wrote a poem last night which is very sensual. i didn't intend to write it. but i had the stirrings of it in me for days. i knew what i wanted to say but wasn't sure how. it was an image of weakness and strength i wanted to convey. but how. you might recognize some of it from previous posts. or if we talk on the phone. you just might hear my voice.

i am not sure many will understand it. some may even think it utterly reprobate. but it is mine. i think it lovely. it is the kind of poem one does not explain. may it find you well.


rest upon my spine


i've wanted to take
you into me
and hold you
close

i've wanted to draw
strength from you
and give some
back

i've wanted to share
every word i read
because i know
you understand

i've wanted to draw
you into me
to rest upon
my spine